How to bring up ED with a doctor: what to say, what to bring, what they may ask
The short answer
Start simply: tell the clinician you have had trouble getting or keeping erections, and for how long. Bring a list of every prescription, over-the-counter medicine, vitamin and supplement you take. Expect questions about your health, medicines, sex life, mood and relationship, a physical exam, and selected blood tests. Raise it early in the visit, not at the door.
In short: you do not need the right words or a diagnosis to bring up erectile dysfunction. One plain sentence about what has changed, and for how long, is enough to start. Bring a written list of everything you take, including supplements, because some medicines can make ED more likely. Expect questions about your health, your sex life, your mood and your relationship, then a physical exam and selected blood tests (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED). This page covers what to say, what to bring, what the clinician may ask and why. It is educational information, not medical advice.
How do you start the conversation about ED with a doctor?
Start with one plain sentence early in the visit, such as “I’ve had trouble getting or keeping erections for the past few months, and I’d like to talk about it.” The National Institute on Aging (NIA) suggests putting your most important concern first rather than saving it for the end of the appointment, and offers openers like “I have a personal question I would like to ask you” (NIA, How To Talk With Your Doctor About Sensitive Issues; NIA, How To Prepare for a Doctor’s Appointment). You do not need clinical terms. Describing what changed is the useful part.
If you are still weighing whether it is worth an appointment at all, our guide to when to see a doctor about ED covers the patterns and red flags that make a visit a priority.
A few other openers that fit different situations:
| Situation | One way to say it |
|---|---|
| It has been building slowly | ”Erections have been harder to get or keep for a while now, and I’d like to find out why.” |
| It started with a new medicine | ”Since I started this medicine, I’ve had trouble with erections. Could the two be connected?” |
| You live with a long-term condition | ”Could my diabetes or blood pressure be affecting my sex life?” |
| You are mainly worried about your health | ”I’ve read that ED can be linked to heart health. Should we check anything?” |
| You would rather write it down | Hand over a note or send it through the patient portal before the visit. |
Writing it down is a legitimate route. MedlinePlus suggests keeping notes about your symptoms in your phone or in a message to your provider so you remember the details on the day (MedlinePlus, Make the most of your doctor visit).
Why does it feel so hard to bring up, and is that common?
It is very common to feel awkward, and clinicians know it. The American Urological Association (AUA) guideline says many men are uncomfortable raising sexual concerns with a physician, and that it is critical for the physician to start the inquiry (AUA Guideline, J Urol 2018). NIA adds that most doctors are used to talking about personal matters and will try to ease your discomfort, and that sexual problems are not necessarily a normal part of aging (NIA, Sensitive Issues).
Staying quiet is also common. In one older survey of men aged 50 to 76 in rural New York State who reported ED, about a third had sought treatment. Among those who had not, the reasons given included embarrassment (29.8%), ignorance or misinformation (45.2%) and cost (25.0%) (Ansong et al., Urology 1998). That study is decades old and from one region, so treat the numbers as a snapshot, not a current national figure. ED itself is widespread: research suggests 30 to 50 million men in the United States have it (NIDDK, Definition & Facts).
What should you bring to an appointment about ED?
Bring a list of every medicine and supplement you take, plus a few notes about your symptoms. NIDDK says clinicians may ask which prescribed and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and supplements you take (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED). NIA notes that some doctors suggest bringing the bottles themselves in a bag, while others prefer a list of everything you take and how much (NIA, Prepare for a Doctor’s Appointment).
| What to bring | Why it helps |
|---|---|
| Every prescription medicine | Blood pressure medicines and antidepressants are among the medicines NIDDK links to ED |
| Over-the-counter medicines | MedlinePlus asks specifically about over-the-counter medicines and supplements |
| Vitamins, herbal products and “performance” supplements | Some sold as sexual enhancers have been found by FDA to contain hidden drug ingredients |
| A short symptom note | What happens, when it started, how long it has lasted and whether it has changed |
| Other health changes | New symptoms, recent emergency or specialist visits, and changes in sleep, weight or energy |
| Names of other clinicians you see | Lets the visit connect with care you already get |
The supplement line matters more than it looks. FDA says many products sold for sexual enhancement or to treat sexual dysfunction are likely to be contaminated with dangerous hidden ingredients, and it advises talking to a health care professional before trying a new product (FDA, Sexual Enhancement and Energy Product Notifications). If you have tried “natural” pills, say so plainly. Our guide to FDA warnings on tainted sexual enhancement supplements explains what those notices have found.
The medicine list is not a request to stop anything. NIDDK says a clinician may review your medicines and suggest a different dose or another medicine, and that you should not stop taking any medicine on your own (NIDDK, Treatment for ED). Our guide to medicines that can affect erections goes through the common classes.
What will the clinician ask about ED?
The clinician will ask about your general health, your medicines, your sexual function and your mental health. NIDDK says the sexual history covers climax, ejaculation, erection and sexual desire, and that clinicians also ask about your emotions and may ask your partner about your relationship (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED). The AUA guideline’s key questions include when symptoms began, how severe and bothersome they are, whether the problem is getting or keeping an erection, whether it happens only in some situations, whether you have nighttime or morning erections, and what you have tried before (AUA Guideline, J Urol 2018).
| Question you may hear | What it helps the clinician understand |
|---|---|
| Have you been able to get and keep erections in the past? | Whether this is a change, and how long it has been going on |
| Is the trouble getting an erection, keeping it, or both? | Which part of the process is affected |
| Do you have erections during sleep or in the morning? | A clue to whether the cause is more likely physical |
| What medicines and supplements do you take? | Whether a medicine could be involved |
| Do you drink, smoke or use recreational drugs? | Lifestyle factors linked to ED |
| Are you stressed, depressed or anxious? Any relationship problems? | Emotional or relationship factors that can lead to ED |
Those questions are drawn from MedlinePlus and the AUA guideline (MedlinePlus, Erection problems; AUA Guideline, J Urol 2018). You may also be handed a short questionnaire. The AUA recommends validated questionnaires to gauge severity and track treatment, and notes they can be a way to open the conversation; it names the Erection Hardness Score and the Sexual Health Inventory for Men as examples (AUA Guideline, Statement 2).
Answer as honestly as you can, including about alcohol and drugs. MedlinePlus says your provider should not judge you and needs to know about all your habits to treat you well (MedlinePlus, Make the most of your doctor visit). If desire, rather than erections, is what has changed, say that too. It points the conversation in a different direction. Our guide to ED vs performance anxiety covers how worry and erections can feed each other.
What happens after the questions?
After the history, the clinician usually does a physical exam and orders selected blood tests. NIDDK says the exam often checks for blood vessel and nervous system problems, hormonal problems, and injury or physical problems with the penis (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED). The AUA guideline says every man with ED should have a morning total testosterone level measured (AUA Guideline, Statement 4).
Expect a conversation about your heart, too. The AUA says men should be told that ED is a risk marker for cardiovascular disease and other health conditions that may warrant evaluation, and that the clinician should share that with your primary care provider so referrals can be discussed (AUA Guideline, Statement 3). A risk marker is a reason to look, not a diagnosis. Our guide to what ED can signal about your health explains those links, and how ED is diagnosed walks through each test in detail.
Can you have ED with normal blood tests?
Yes. ED is defined by the symptom, trouble getting or keeping an erection firm enough for sex, not by a lab result (NIDDK, Definition & Facts). The AUA guideline says that apart from possibly blood sugar (glucose or hemoglobin A1c) and blood fats, no routine blood test is likely to change how ED is managed, and it bases diagnosis on the history, the exam and selective testing together (AUA Guideline, J Urol 2018).
Normal results narrow the search rather than end it. NIDDK lists medicines, anxiety, stress and lifestyle behaviors such as smoking and heavy drinking among the factors that make ED more likely (NIDDK, Definition & Facts), and none of those show up as an abnormal blood count. The AUA adds that psychological factors such as depression, anxiety and relationship conflict can be primary or secondary contributors to ED (AUA Guideline, J Urol 2018). If your tests come back normal, ask what the clinician thinks is driving it and what the next step is. Our page on ED and low testosterone explains why a testosterone number on its own does not settle the question.
When will a doctor suggest a specialist for ED?
A clinician may suggest a specialist when the history is complex, when a specific problem needs its own work-up, or when emotional factors are a large part of the picture. The AUA says specialized testing may be necessary for some men, generally those who present with complex histories (AUA Guideline, Statement 5). Urologists are among the clinicians who diagnose ED, according to NIDDK (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED).
| Situation | Who may come in |
|---|---|
| A complex history, or specialized tests are needed to guide treatment | Specialized testing and evaluation (AUA Statement 5) |
| ED began after an injury or prostate surgery | MedlinePlus lists this as a reason to contact your provider |
| The exam finds a deformity or plaque in the penis | Further tests if Peyronie’s disease is suspected (AUA) |
| Anxiety, depression or relationship strain is a big factor | A mental health professional or psychotherapist (AUA Statement 6) |
| Heart risk factors come up | Your primary care provider, for cardiovascular follow-up (AUA Statement 3) |
The AUA’s Statement 6 says referral to a mental health professional should be considered for men being treated for ED, to help with sticking to treatment, reduce performance anxiety and fit treatment into a sexual relationship, and that men with mainly psychological ED should be offered a referral to a psychotherapist (AUA Guideline, Statement 6). A referral is a routine next step, not a sign that something is badly wrong.
What questions should you ask the doctor about ED?
Ask what might be causing it, which tests make sense, and what all your options are. MedlinePlus suggests asking which tests might help find the problem, what the benefits and risks of tests and treatments are, and when to call back if things do not improve (MedlinePlus, Make the most of your doctor visit). Useful questions for an ED visit include:
- What do you think is the most likely cause in my case?
- Could any of my current medicines be involved, and what are the alternatives?
- Which tests do you suggest, and what would each one tell us?
- Is there anything about my heart or blood sugar we should check?
- What are all the treatment options for me, including ones that are not pills?
- Is there anything I should not combine with an ED medicine?
- When should I come back, and what should prompt an earlier call?
The AUA describes shared decision-making as the cornerstone of ED care: you should be told about every treatment option that is not medically ruled out for you, it is valid to start with any of them or choose no treatment, and your partner is welcome in the process where appropriate (AUA ED Guideline). Asking questions is part of your side of that process. The guideline frames the patient’s role as being willing to take in information, ask questions and say clearly what you and your partner prefer.
Should you bring your partner to the appointment?
You can, and the AUA encourages inviting a partner into treatment decisions when possible and clinically appropriate (AUA ED Guideline). NIDDK notes that clinicians may ask a partner about the relationship and how it affects ED, and suggests couples talk together about treatments that work for them (NIDDK, Diagnosis of ED; NIDDK, Treatment for ED).
It is equally fine to go alone. NIA points out that you may want some time alone with the doctor for personal matters, and that a companion can wait outside for part of the visit (NIA, Prepare for a Doctor’s Appointment).
When to talk to a clinician
Book a visit if erection trouble keeps coming back. MedlinePlus says to see a provider if it happens more than 25% of the time, and to get in touch if it started after an injury or prostate surgery or comes with other symptoms such as low back pain, abdominal pain or a change in urination. If you take an ED medicine and an erection lasts more than 4 hours, contact your provider right away or go to an emergency room (see our page on priapism).
The bottom line
Talking to a doctor about ED starts with one plain sentence. Bring a full list of your medicines and supplements, a few notes on when the trouble started and how often it happens, and any questions you want answered. Expect a history, an exam and selected blood tests, and know that normal results do not mean the problem is imaginary. The goal of the visit is to find what is behind the symptom and talk through every option that fits you.
Sources
- NIDDK (National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases), Definition & Facts for Erectile Dysfunction, last reviewed October 2024. Definition of ED, the 30 to 50 million estimate, and diseases, medicines, emotional issues and lifestyle behaviors that make ED more likely: niddk.nih.gov, ED definition and facts
- NIDDK, Diagnosis of Erectile Dysfunction, last reviewed October 2024. Questions about medicines, vitamins and supplements; the sexual history covering climax, ejaculation, erection and desire; mental health and partner questions; the physical exam; urologists among diagnosing clinicians: niddk.nih.gov, ED diagnosis
- NIDDK, Treatment for Erectile Dysfunction, last reviewed October 2024. Medicine review, not stopping medicines on your own, and couples choosing treatment together: niddk.nih.gov, ED treatment
- Burnett AL, et al. Erectile Dysfunction: AUA Guideline. J Urol 2018;200:633. Men’s discomfort raising sexual concerns and the physician’s role in starting the inquiry, key history questions, Statements 2 to 6, the limits of routine blood tests, psychological contributors and referral: auajournals.org, AUA ED guideline
- American Urological Association, Erectile Dysfunction (ED) Guideline (2018), web version. Purpose statement and shared decision-making, including partner involvement and the patient’s role: auanet.org, ED guideline
- MedlinePlus (National Library of Medicine), Erection problems, reviewed October 2025. Questions a provider asks, tests, the more-than-25% threshold, when to contact a provider, and the 4-hour emergency: medlineplus.gov, Erection problems
- MedlinePlus, Make the most of your doctor visit, reviewed September 2024. Writing down medicines and symptoms, being honest about habits, and questions to ask: medlineplus.gov, Make the most of your doctor visit
- National Institute on Aging, How To Prepare for a Doctor’s Appointment. Raising key concerns first, bringing medicines or a medicine list, and time alone with the doctor: nia.nih.gov, How to prepare for a doctor’s appointment
- National Institute on Aging, How To Talk With Your Doctor About Sensitive Issues. Doctors’ familiarity with personal topics and example opening lines about sexuality: nia.nih.gov, How to talk with your doctor about sensitive issues
- Ansong KS, Lewis C, Jenkins P, Bell J. Help-seeking decisions among men with impotence. Urology 1998;52(5). Share of men with ED who sought treatment and their reasons for not seeking it: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9801109
- U.S. Food and Drug Administration, Sexual Enhancement and Energy Product Notifications, updated October 15, 2026. Many sexual enhancement products are likely contaminated with dangerous hidden ingredients, and the advice to talk to a health care professional before trying a new product: fda.gov, sexual enhancement product notifications
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